


It's Alright, It's Okay

by Hock_hug



Series: 52 Weeks of Hockey [39]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, Joel is coming to terms with things, M/M, Reveal, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:55:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22427452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hock_hug/pseuds/Hock_hug
Summary: What do you do when you're dying and the only cure out there is out of your reach?
Relationships: Joel Farabee/Morgan Frost
Series: 52 Weeks of Hockey [39]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1122324
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	It's Alright, It's Okay

The doctors told him what he already knew. The flowers that were growing in his lungs would eventually suffocate him if he wasn’t cured, and the only true cure was to be loved by the person he had fallen in love with. Morgan didn’t love him, so that was out. Of course, surgery was an option, but not for him. The success rate was too low, and there were too many risks. Not to mention that he would never be able to feel love again, and what was a life without love?

\---

He hid it well enough. He managed to play through it, despite the fact that he could never quite catch his breath after his shifts, and life went on. If anyone noticed him coughing more and more, they didn’t bring it up. He spent enough time talking to the trainers to expel the majority of his teammate’s concerns. Sometimes, though, he noticed Morgan glancing at him when he hacked half a lung up, but he’d just smile in return and Morgan didn’t say anything.

At least, not at first.

\---

Road trips sucked without a flower trying to bloom behind your ribcage, so Joel was a whole new type of miserable. Morgan sat next to him on the plane, and it took everything he had to not cough the entire flight.

“Hey, do you want to watch this with me?” Morgan asked, holding his phone up to show Joel whatever movie he would be watching on the flight. It was something Joel had already seen, so he didn’t feel too guilty when he said no. Morgan just shrugged and put his earbuds in. As the plane took flight, Joel relaxed in his seat. He took his own phone out and turned on one of the first playlists he saw. He closed his eyes, intending to get some much needed rest. He was just beginning to drift off when he felt Morgan rest his head against his shoulder, and he was suddenly wide awake. It wasn’t so unusual for something like this to happen, they were both tactile guys, but it left his chest tight. He couldn’t help but turn his head away and cough up a few petals into his elbow. Luckily for him, Morgan was too engrossed with his movie to notice. Joel knew he should’ve pushed Morgan away at that point, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Despite the fact that it was literally killing him, he was in love with Morgan and wanted him as close as possible. He just had to pray that the flight was short enough for him to make it without too many incidents.

Once they landed, relief flooded Joel’s system along with the fresh air (not that he could take much in). Unfortunately, Joel had forgotten who his road roommate was, though he couldn’t be too upset when Morgan took the bed closest to the window.

After dinner, they walked into the room together and Morgan brushed past him. Joel felt the telltale tickle in his throat and quickly moved into the bathroom, closing the door behind him before coughing up twelve blood-stained petals into the toilet. The sight of them kind of made him want to vomit, but it was distant enough for him to push past it. He flushed the toilet, wiped his face off, and washed his hands. He wasn’t expecting Morgan to be standing right outside the door when he opened it.

“You aren’t okay, are you?” It wasn’t a question, not really, but Joel still nodded.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about it. Just a bit of a cold.” Morgan’s expression went from concerned to determined in a flash, and his voice held a new edge when he spoke again. 

“You aren’t. It isn’t a cold, or else you’d tell me to stay away from you.” Joel couldn’t deny that much. Morgan’s health was always a top concern for him. “You act like I don’t even know you, Bee. Please just tell me what’s going on.”

Joel shook his head, and Morgan huffed in frustration before grabbing his arm. 

“I won’t tell anyone, please just tell me. I’m worried about you!”

Normally, hearing that Morgan cared enough about him to worry would elate him, but this time it just left a tightness in his chest and an itch in his throat. He tried to pull away, but Morgan wouldn’t let him, only holding on tighter. Joel covered his mouth with his hand as he began to cough up even more petals. Morgan let go of him and took a step back, and once Joel finally composed himself, the startled look on his face nearly made him laugh.

“Are those… petals?” Morgan asked, voice quiet. Joel simply nodded before throwing them in the bathroom trash and washing his hands again. Morgan trailed after him, looking too sad for Joel’s taste.

“So, it’s hanahaki, isn’t it?” Once again, not a question. Morgan knew.

“Yeah. Damn flower growing in my lungs, I have to cough up the flowers eventually.” Morgan didn’t respond, so Joel turned towards him, ready to make a joke out of it. The tears in Morgan’s eyes stopped him before he could, and before he could stop himself, he pulled Morgan into his arms.

“You’re gonna die, aren’t you?” Morgan could barely get the words out before sobs wracked his body. Joel held him tighter, rubbing a hand up and down his back. Morgan knew, and there was nothing he could do about it. At least he didn’t know who was causing it. It would break him, and Joel couldn’t let that happen. All he could do was hold Morgan close, and fight down the petals that were trying to escape.

“It’s alright, Morgan. I’m okay.”


End file.
